BMUBirthMothersUnite

Gina Crott Founder of Birth Mother Baskets Interview with SF Network

2012-02-20T15:18:00.001-08:00

Gina Croft Interview with SF Network

God Is in Control - Inspirational

2012-02-18T19:16:00.001-08:00

The Best For You

2012-02-10T14:14:00.000-08:00

A Birth Mothers Point of View

http://books.google.com/books?id=zmPFjHZOssQC&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_ge_summary_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false

You are a suvivor of your SCARS

2012-02-05T18:59:00.000-08:00

Annoucing 3 New Books Purchase at BMU/ By Lucy Franklin C.P.A.C.

2012-02-01T15:28:00.000-08:00

To buy the above mentioned go to http://www.birthmothersunite.com/

click on BOOKS

H.O.P.E.

Healing Of Post Adoption Effects Workbook

I Called Her Precious

Messages From the King -Poetry Inspirational Expecially written for Birth Mothers

By Lucy Franklin C.P.A.C.

Certified Post Adoption Counselor

Owner of Birthmothersunite.com

Messages From The King - Healing Inspirational, Poetry Book For Birth Mothers, By Lucy Franklin, C.P.A.C.

2012-01-24T15:34:00.000-08:00

Messages From The King by Lucy Franklin | Make Your Own Book

This is a Christian Poetry book. Written from the heart of your Sister Birth Mother Lucy Franklin. You will treasure this little book of inspiration. You can purchase one today from Blub.com click on the preview. This book has 74 pages of Inspiration and Poetry, and beautiful pictures taken right out of Lucy's own Sunflower gardens. Just click on the shopping cart to buy. My hope is you will find peace if you are struggling with placing your baby for adoption.

Forgive Yourself

2012-01-08T12:50:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year

2011-12-31T13:18:00.000-08:00

Well we are about to ring in 2012. I don't know about you but I so am looking forward to a better year for us all. Better economy, Better HEALTH, and much Prosperity for us all!

Many New Years we all make resolutions. My hope is that you if you recently placed a baby/or child for adoption with a family. That you will focus on the reasons that you placed that Lil Gift from God with a family. In helping birth mothers through post-adoption it is very important that you nurture and embrace your selfless GREAT LOVE for that baby, to as why you placed in the first place. Don't let your grief get out of control. Or last for YEARS on end. I placed my bdaughter 30 years ago. I still have moments that I tear up and cry. I think that is the MOTHER in me. Now I think they are HAPPY tears. Tears of blessings! That I was blessed to be chosen to be her birth mother. God will never give you more than you can handle.

Ways to get through grief- Journal! Journal! Journal! Get those deep emotions out of your body and on to paper! Even if they sound crazy, even if they are full of anger, What ever the emotion JOURNAL it! My belief is you can not heal by going around something. You must dig deep and go to the dark part of the pain - through it and to the other side. To see the the LIGHT that awaits you. That light was my Jesus! He walked with me, I never was alone. I am never alone today.

Scrapbook- Make a scrapbook of the birth, all that pertains to the adoption. Hopefully you had an open adoption.

Use all Available resources- If you find that you get seriously depressed seek medical professional treatment immediately. Severe Depression, suicidal ideation. There are many online wonderful birth mother support groups

Birthmom Buds

Sunflower Group

WWW.Birthmothersunite.com Contact: Lucy Frankin, CPAC at

birthmothers@aol.com

For a confidential free consultation for counseling.

1-888-803-4956 She is trained to work with Birth Mothers Trauma / Post-Placement - Anxiety, Depression, Reunion, Healing.

Adopted Man Gets Box Of Christmas Joy From Birth Mother - Kansas City News Story - KMBC Kansas City

2011-12-21T11:11:00.000-08:00

Adopted Man Gets Box Of Christmas Joy From Birth Mother - Kansas City News Story - KMBC Kansas City

Awesome story, Get out the kleenex's. :)

I did not put a new ornament on my tree every year as this precious birth mother did. But I did have one from the first year, that I still put up to this day. It had her orginal birth name on it and birth date. It makes us feel whole and complete to have her on our family Christ-mas Tree. I have been reunited with my birthdaughter for 11 years. I feel very blessed that God answered my prayers with in 18 1/2 years of my placing her with a family. Never under estimate his timing. I thank him everyday for this precious LIFE that I was the vehicle to carry her for her now family.

Dwell NOT ON THE PAST

2011-12-21T07:29:00.000-08:00

With God All Things are Possible! Post- Adoption - Lucy Franklin, CPAC

2011-12-17T11:45:00.000-08:00

I can remember like it was yesterday. The emotions that I felt. The bottomless pit. The emptiness inside. The roller coaster daily I road of depression/ anxiety/ second guessing my decision to place my daughter with a family for adoption. My heart was bleeding tears so loud that could not be heard, For out of love to my family and those that did not understand my sacrifice. I bled eternal for the love of my "LIFE" this Child that I bore for another.

What got me through the hardest part of this process was my strong Faith in Christ Jesus. His promise Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.”

Once I got that scripture securely in my heart, soul, and mind. I knew with out a shadow of a doubt. That I would be okay, and most of all this "Child that I did bore for another Mother and family." Was doing well, this scripture proved true then, Also when she and I reunited in July of 2000. It stands true today. For she and I are both Christians. He answered my plea and prayer for her and I to reunite. We did, and are still in reunion. She is my Blessing. She I don't think even realizes the impact she has had on my "LIFE" she is my STRENGTH, as is CHRIST JESUS!

The stages of grief you will go through are the following:

Shock and Denial

Sorrow and Depression

Anger

Guilt

Acceptance

The steps to resolving your loss. Is acknowledging the loss.

If you just recently placed your baby for adoption. If you are hurting. Need help and support, or resources for healing your pain from post-adoption placement. Visit http://www.birthmothersunite.com/ or contact us at 1-888-803-4956

Jesus Is the Reason for the Season

2011-12-14T15:46:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas from all of us at BMUBirthMothersUnite Blog and

www.birthmothersunite.com

ONE DAY AT A TIME

2011-12-03T18:16:00.001-08:00

Explaining My Absence

2011-12-03T12:13:00.000-08:00

Sorry I've been away for the past 7 weeks. I had to have my left knee replaced. It has been a long painful journey. But I am very thankful for all my family and friends and MOST of ALL my HUSBAND for being a great caretaker!!!

Please keep me in your prayers. As soon as I get stronger I will be back with more resources and blogs, on Adoption, Birthmothers, BirthParents.

Happy Holiday's to you and YOUR'S. Count your blessings everyday. I have found that in Life when I am my lowest or think that I am, That God quickly reminds me of how much he LOVES me and HOW much he is right there beside me. I have also found that LESS in life is MORE. If I have quality relationships filled with LOVE, Respect, and most of all Christ Jesus. Then I am very RICH. A kind of Richness that I value more than MONEY. I am complete as long as I have my relationships in order with Christ, and Family and friends.

Merry Christmas

No One Else Knows - Bldg 429

2011-10-03T15:39:00.000-07:00

The Past

2011-09-30T23:11:00.000-07:00

(¯`♥´¯) .♥.•*¨`* ♥.•
´*.¸.•´♥"STOP living in the PAST....LEARN from It....ANALYZE your PRESENT & FOCUS on your FUTURE!!!!!!" I BELIEVE ....that our Background and Circumstances may have Influence who we are but we are RESPONSIBLE for Who we BECOME....♥

Quote: Mother Theresa - Spread LOVE

2011-09-27T13:13:00.000-07:00

"Spread love everywhere you go: First of all in your own house...let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile."~Mother Teresa

I'll Be Happy When?

2011-09-26T06:06:00.000-07:00

I'll be HAPPY WHEN? Does this question pop into your mind often? I will be the first to say I have had this one coming out of my mind and mouth often through out my 52 years of life. As a teen I couldn't wait to be GROWN and married. I did marry at the tender age of nineteen and that marriage ended quickly in divorce, All because of I'll be HAPPY WHEN! That was when I was not suppose to have married. I did not have the maturity to have taken on a marriage, Household and all the other responsibilities that come with being married and responsible at nineteen. So there went my I'll be HAPPY WHEN right to divorce court at the age of twenty-one. You know now looking back I was living my life LOST, Flying through as my Mother would say on my skirt tale, Or as my Father would say I lived my life to the beat of my OWN DRUM. I FEARED NOTHING, Thought I was HAPPY, Even when I was chasing I'll be HAPPY WHEN! No longer than separating from my hubby I was on the hunt for the NEXT LOVE to fill the void. I'll be HAPPY WHEN! That was my MOTTO. Then in denial about my life and searching for LOVE, I am hit with an unplanned pregnancy. Unplanned by me, But PLANNED by GOD! No I am not some religious NUT. I am not religious, I have this magnificent relationship with Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior. He was going to rescue me through this pregnancy. He knows how to get our attention. He had mine FAST! All the ugly stopped immediately when I found out that I was carrying my "PRECIOUS" as I called her. Then My I'll Be Happy WHEN changed into a beautiful selfless focus. Off of me and on to she. I just felt all along that I was having a girl, and I did! I focused on taking excellent prenatal care of myself. The I'll be Happy when left my mind completely. My confident through out the pregnancy was my immediate family and JESUS CHRIST! I talked often to him day and night. To give me the strength to make the best decision for my "Precious". The answer to this came in my sixth month of pregnancy. By staying in constant relationship with Jesus on a personal level. He guided me and gave me straight from his word - Lucy for when you are WEAK I am STRONG. That was my portion daily that is my portion to this day. For when I am weak, MY JESUS IS FOREVER STRONG! He lives in ME, he guides me to make RIGHT decisions. I did listen to my Jesus, and made an adoption plan and placed my "PRECIOUS" with a FAMILY in 1981. Born unto me this CHILD I BORE for ANOTHER MOTHER. This child that I adored then and today. I know longer say I'll be HAPPY WHEN? For "HAPPY" is something you chase, Happy is just a feeling that cannot be achieved without disappointment. What I am now is Content. I am content rather my portion is MUCH or Small. My peace does not come from this world, My peace comes from KNOWING that I am LOVED by my Creator - As God the Father, The Son and the Holy Ghost.

So When are you going to be HAPPY??? You don't have to wait for WHEN, You can have it all NOW! Everyday! Seek the TRUTH, You shall find. It's all in his word, The Holy Bible.

Right this very minute I am going through a TRIAL - The I'll Be Happy When's started! I am facing TKR in both Knee's. I am in constant extreme pain daily. It wore me down emotionally and physically. I was trying to get through it ON MY OWN! I'd pray when I felt like it, but most often I was too worn down to pray. So just like 30 years ago when I was in the unplanned, this severe osteo-arthritis bone on bone KNEEZLE problem as I call it broke me to go straight to the MIGHTY PHYSICIAN! I began to pray, I spent all Sunday in constant communication with the MIGHTY PHYSICIAN Jesus Christ. I had to lay it on the LINE, Repentance was first, I spewed it all out. He knew, He already knew! Because he KNOWS all and SEE's ALL. Don't ever think for one minute that he doesn't. He is just waiting for you to have enough faith and courage to bring it all to him, then TRUST. My first surgery is planned for Oct. 17th. I'll keep all updated. I ask that you join me in this journey in prayer for my complete and quick recover. I ask that if you have a NEED that you post that need here in the comments section. We will join together in prayer, One for another! He's listening. He LOVES us unconditionally! HE CARES, No When's about it! He always CARES for his children!!!

To pray is nothing more involved than to open the door, giving Jesus access to our needs and permitting "HIM" to exercise HIS own power in dealing with them. O Hallesby

That God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ.
1 Peter 4:11

Thinking Adoption?

2011-09-13T10:51:00.000-07:00

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the
truth. 3 John 1:4 (NIV)

When I placed my daughter 30 years ago with a family. My biggest request and demand. Was the adoptive parents be CHRISTIANS. That they live a Christian life. Know Christ as their LORD and Savior. That they also instill CHRISTIANITY in this Life that God created, That he allowed me to carry especially for them. Even though it was a closed adoption. Not what I would have liked, but that's all they had back in 1981 when I placed. I am very thankful that the Agency I chose indeed honored me with that request. She has had most of what I desired for her. Not every placement will be perfect. I can say for sure she has had a strong loving Christian MOTHER that has been through thick and thin with her children. I admire her and I am thankful to this day for her. I know my daughter loves her for she is the only mother she ever had. A lot of Birth Mothers would be upset to hear this. This doesn't upset me. She has told me herself how much she LOVES her and how bonded they are. This makes me very complete and happy. Because then when I reflect on the choice so difficult to have made those thirty years ago. It was the right choice, I didn't make the choice on my own. I sought God's guidance through out my pregnancy. I wanted her well provided for. A responsible birth mother will go the extra mile through out her pregnancy to make an adoption plan. Remember do not make the decision with your heart your heart will tell you to RUN with your baby. You need to make it with a sound mind. If you are in a crisis pregnancy find a CPC- Pregnancy Resources Center in your city. Also you can call 1-800-395-HELP 24 x 7. They will direct you to a CPC in your city also. Successful adoption plans today are those that are honored through out by the triad. Meaning the triad works lovingly together for the best interest of the child.

Faith

2011-09-09T16:51:00.001-07:00

Thankfulness

2011-09-06T16:42:00.000-07:00

Our Pastor spoke on GRUMBLING today, and THANKFULNESS! I think I am going to work harder in that area. Because God has provided for me, UP and over MORE than I truly deserve. I am not homeless, I never mess a meal. I have a husband that does LOVE all me and my many personalities. God wants US HUNGRY for him in a way that we FORGET this temporal LIFE. See he Chose us at our creation in our Mothers WOMB, He has his eye on us from that very day of conception till the last breathe we take in this life. We ARE CHOSEN, It saddens him when those with free will, that hear the GOSPEL that know the truth but choose the secular WORLD over the ALMIGHTY. But he never gives up on us till that last breathe if you accept him you shall have eternal life. My heart hurts for anyone that never gets the simple MESSAGE, For those that twist it and try to mold it into something different than what the scripture says: John 3:16 says it all! I don't care about man made religion or what the world has made CHURCH into. The BIG EXPENSIVE HIGH TECH FEEL GOOD Church's! It's NOT about us folks - Not about that little hour you spend there at Church. Yes he is pleased you came, IT's about Relationship, Relationship, Relationship with Jesus. A Daily Hunger for him that you are transformed. Just as the scripture speaks of, Once you receive Christ, He lives inside of you. You become Christ LIKE. NOT HAUGHTY, But HUMBLE, NOT BOASTFUL but meek and I am a lowly sinner, that seek those that are lost as I once was, He wants you to KNOW HIM. Churches need to focus on relationship with CHRIST and being humble and LOVING all people rather they are Christians or NOT. For God will have the final say in all things! I will never be perfect, But in his site I am BEAUTIFUL, I am the Kings Daughter! I am ROYALTY. Tears well up in my eyes. When I think of all the ugly that I have committed in sin. When I was lost and worldly. But he never left my side. I truly always felt his presence in my darkest hours. Even when I felt that I couldn't do better, I KNEW without a doubt My Mighty God could! Oh yeah, If you think you can't, Turn it over to God. You don't have to beg, plead or ask over and over for the same prayer to be heard. Just tell him! Praise him! Then when he delivers his answer in his timing. REJOICE! Have FAITH, because some things I have asked for took YEARS to be answered. But they were answered. In his timing! Trust the Master with your LIFE. Always know that when you think God is not NEAR, It's when he is the NEAREST! Because he wants you to Trust and SEEK him DAILY. Where are you in your relationship with Christ Jesus? Go talk with him now about it all. He is patiently waiting.

Ain't That Love - Adoptee Singing to BirthMother

2011-09-04T13:53:00.001-07:00

God's Grace

2011-09-04T13:16:00.000-07:00

BirthMom Buds Blog: Blog Button

2011-08-28T13:07:00.000-07:00

BirthMom Buds Blog: Blog Button

Reunion- Adoptee Birthmother reunite w/ Adoptive parents help

2011-08-25T07:22:00.000-07:00

http://www.facinglife.tv/episode/season_5/episode_3/episode_503_video_full.htm

Delivery Chosen

2011-08-23T17:10:00.001-07:00

A Mothers Love - By Lucy Franklin

2011-08-23T10:37:00.000-07:00

Today is the day that My MOTHER went to her eternal home 3 years ago in 2008. I was blessed to have her for 49 years. Thankful very much to God Almighty for that blessing. Today I rejoice that she has a new body and no longer suffers. But apart of me today is sad, and very much lonely for her. She was MY biggest cheerleader, She was one of those SUPER MOMS. I envy her strength to this day. One thing I could always count on about my Mother was she had a sweetness about her, Even when she had the most trouble out of me through my teen years. She never gave up on me. She had a relationship so strong with Jesus that she knew how to speak to me with out JUDGEMENT. She spoke the truth with LOVE and Mercy in her precious eyes. She never failed me. The LOVE she had for myself and two siblings was a love so pure and equal. I could actually see Jesus's eyes through hers. That's how much she lived the TRUE CHRISTIAN LIFE. She was the most humble woman I have ever met. Always put others before herself. Not as a mortar, But as she looks down from Heaven above. I pray that I make her proud. Of the woman she molded me into be. As parents we have a responsibility to be our children's parents first. Then their friends. We must keep them safe and protect them from the evils of the world. Today as I reflect on my longing and missing her. I am going to choose right now to do as she would want me to do. Remove the sadness, and fill it with MY MOTHERS LOVE. Then for the rest of the day I will reflect on all the memories that my mind does have of a woman MY MOTHER, that lived a full blessed life. All given to her because she trusted, she believed in

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Her Faith stood on God's promise of John 3:16.

As a birthmom I also stand on that promise. To someday have eternal life with my bdaughter. For someday that she shall truly know my heart and my great LOVE for her. More than the words that she has heard me say since being reunited. She shall SEE for her own eyes in paradise her FIRST MOTHERS LOVE forever!

A Birthmothers Prayer

2011-08-21T17:27:00.000-07:00

Pride

2011-08-21T11:38:00.000-07:00

As a Christian we are Never to be Prideful. James 4:6 Says it best: It's common knowledge that "God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble." We are to be humble and walk in humility. Many times I have heard someone say, Or even I have said I am a PROUD Birthmother. There is nothing wrong with saying this, For when I am saying that, I am truly saying I was HONORED and Humble to be the one God selected to be the carrier and vehicle to deliver such a perfect precious child of GOD. All our children, be they our birth children that we placed with a family, or reared children we are humble as Christians to be honored to be parents or a birth parent. My point here is to be humble in your journey in LIFE. We live in a world desperately searching for self-esteem, We live in a world of the Me, Me, Me, syndrome! Are you ready for more change in your life? Change? To change as a Christian means to convert, To be more "Christ" like. I want God on my side. What do you need to change in your life? I walk humbly every day with My God. You can also for as James 4:6 tells you! God gives grace to the willing humble! Remember he takes you right were you are, bumps, bruises, stains, and ALL! Daily communicate with your Lord and Savior, Watch him make you sparkle and shine. Throw out all pride, flush, that down the drain so to speak. I like to hang out with the LOWLY like Jesus. Because I want to share my testimony with them so they too can convert. Search your heart for any UGLY, reveal it to the man that KNOWS all that see's all! Then watch a healing manifest in you like you have never seen before. Then share with others what HE Jesus has done for you!

Today's Inspirational - Aug. 21, 2011

2011-08-21T08:02:00.001-07:00

Today's Inspirational -Aug 20th

2011-08-20T14:05:00.000-07:00

H.O.P.E. - Healing Of Post-Adoption Effects - Workbook By Lucy Franklin C.P.A.C.

2011-08-20T12:21:00.000-07:00

H.O.P.E. by Lucy Franklin C.P.A.C. |

Have you recently placed your baby for adoption? Are you having difficulty moving forward in your life. This workbook was written for YOU! It is a Christian workbook. That you can work at your own pace. For a birthmother the decision to place will be the hardest decision and lifelong experience you will ever face. But I being a reunited birthmother and also veteran birthmother can tell you that validating, Loving yourself, and with God's Loving Grace you can have an abundant life. Your birth child wants what you wanted, You wanted the best for them and they surely want the best for you!

Click and review this little treasure of a workbook. Today. It doesn't matter when you placed this little book will be a blessing to you.

Lucy Franklin, C.P.A.C.

Two Mothers

2011-08-19T15:59:00.000-07:00

Your First Mother Gave you your beating heart,

Your Two Mother's Both LOVED you from the very START,

Your First Mother nourished you in utero, with tender loving care,

Your two Mothers have a bond in common that they both do share!

For it is YOU, That these two MOTHERS live for each and everyday,

Your First MOTHER & Now Mother lift you up to Jesus Daily as they do pray,

Your Now Mother is molding you with all that you will need,

Honoring the First Mother's wishes letting "Jesus take the lead".

Your First Mother's heart still beats strong with great LOVE for you,

Your Now Mother's heart still beats strong with great LOVE for you tooooooooo!

It was in God's plan for you to have TWO,

Two Mother's you were blessed with to see you Through,

In all that you do!

You might not even know that First Mother YET!

But I can BET!

That she has prayed daily with all her Might,

That someday you and she would reunite!

Yes, Your First Mother Gave you your beating heart,

A very good start!

Then the one you now call MOTHER took your First Mothers part,

It was God's plan from the Very Start.

For you to have Two Mothers you see,

And a LOVING FAMILY........

Aug. Book Spot Light- Jesus Calling- Sarah Young 365 Day Devotional

2011-08-19T11:17:00.000-07:00

http://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Calling-Imitation-Leather-Sarah-Young/dp/B004VA0FXC/ref=sr_1_10?ie=UTF8&qid=1313777604&sr=8-10

Click the above link to purchase at http://www.amazon.com/

I have given this book as a gift to family and friends. I have been told that this little precious gift has restored them to Jesus and HEALED them physically, mentally, and most of all spiritually! A must read. I start my day everyday with this LITTLE treasure!!! You will feel his presence LIKE NEVER BEFORE!!!!

Now what are you waiting for! Go get yours today!

Today's Inspirational - 1 Corinthians 13:12

2011-08-19T11:02:00.000-07:00

Patience

2011-08-18T08:01:00.000-07:00

Being a birth mom takes a lot of patience. When I became one in 1981. I was so young. Didn't really know the impact of placing my bdaughter with a family would have on me. Patience just was not my virtue. It's amazing now fast forward the journey I have had to get me to a place of understanding.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

The above Scripture is what has got me to my place of PATIENCE. For God's LOVE has given me the strength to endure being what is often a hard thing to be a birth mom. The First Mother. That is often forgotten in the equation of the triad. I have endured and with God I will continue to endure with PATIENCE and great LOVE in my HEART. For this CHILD that I bore for another family. She is MY HEART! Will always be my HEART!

A quote I found: "Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!"
~Dieter F. Uchtdorf

To Him I seek DAILY for his word tells me:

Psalm 91

¹ Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

My Book- I Called Her Precious

2011-08-17T20:23:00.001-07:00

Coming Soon - Poetry Book- For Birth Moms, Birth Parents, The Triad

2011-08-17T14:46:00.000-07:00

I have been blessed with the gift to write poetry. I am working right now with a collection of my favorites, Putting them together to richly touch your hearts and help you in your journey in Adoption and LIFE in general. This is a Christian poetry booklet. I am just the one that stands in the GAP. Because I truly know that when the SPIRIT comes upon me. The words just flow. All glory I give to OUR LORD and Savior. Keep watching for I shall post the link for the pocket poetry book as soon as it's published!

Feeling DOWN?

2011-08-17T14:34:00.000-07:00

Poetry Contest

2011-08-17T13:35:00.000-07:00

http://bmubirthmothersunite.blogspot.com/2011/08/poetry-contest.html

Today's Inspirational - Aug. 16th

2011-08-16T14:32:00.001-07:00

Crisis Pregnancy

2011-08-16T14:01:00.000-07:00

My choices,

I could single parent this child of mine?

Or I could place him or her with an adopted family with parents a mother and father divine,

I could get an abortion the law says its okay?

Before you make that third decision, I ask you to the Lord do now pray!

Pregnant, unmarried, What is a girl or woman to do?

The 3 choices given seem so few!

Ask Christ Jesus on bended knee,

Listen, Listen for his plea,

The Lord gave you Life years before,

And you and this baby he so very much now does adore!

He will give you the strength to make it through,

Even if the future looks bleak or blue to you,

It seems like a crisis more than you can bear,

But right now this minute he does hear your pain and prayer,

My child, My child trust in me,

For this child you now do carry you will see!

Was always always meant to be!

So deliver this child for me to adore,

And I will remember you in the book of life that this child for me you did bore!

1/27/2009 (C) Lucy Franklin

Jesus Love

2011-08-14T12:53:00.000-07:00

Could you imagine your life with out ever being LOVED,

People are starving for Love, seeking it in worldly things,

Some never look for the true source of unconditional love that is pure from Heaven ABOVE,

When you look in the wrong place for love, heartache it always does bring!

Jesus's Love,

Pure, Unconditional! As a Heavenly White Dove,

Many seek love in their job success, money, or fame,

Always chasing love but not finding their lives changing just staying the same!

They so desire for their hearts to mend and heal!

Their hearts always aching sorrow is all they do feel,

Jesus has known you even prior to your conception in your Mothers womb,

It was you he was thinking OF on the Blood Stained Cross and in even in his tomb,

You he thought of always from the very START,

So please hear him as he speaks now unto your HEART,

I Jesus with great love for you will never depart!

Though at times in your earthly LIFE.

You will endure trials and great strife,

You will wonder why and cry out unto me,

With arms open wide as big as the universe there I will be!

Though you might can not see,

Faith will let you feel my presence while you receive MY GREAT LOVE for you on bended knee!

By His Grace!

His promised words and Great LOVE He says "Yes my child you shall too someday see MY Glorious FACE!

One day, In my timing, Until then just bask in MY EVERLASTING LOVING EMBRACE!

MY Love,

IS Pure, Is Unconditional! Straight from God in Heaven ABOVE!!!

Birth Mother Baskets

2011-08-13T17:38:00.000-07:00

Check Out what one Birth Mother started over 11 years ago to help her heal. Awesome Non-Profit. You will be blessed and touched by her story, and her on going blessings she has bestowed through Birth Mother Baskets.

LAUGH! LOVE! LIVE LARGE! LIFE IS A GIFT! Embrace IT!

2011-08-13T16:35:00.000-07:00

Reunion - Okay we've found each other, NOW WHAT?

2011-08-13T15:54:00.000-07:00

     Reunion is very complex. If you have been reunited with your birth child, You very well know what I am talking about. Even when both parties want to be found. The searcher is on a hunt. Not knowing if the Birth Mother, Or Birth Parents or Adoptee wants to be found. Or if the adoptee even knows that they were adopted. Or visa a versa, that they very much have always needed and wanted to be found! I heard it from my own birth daughter. That she needed to feel complete. She felt complete once she got to reunite with me. I was the missing link.

   Adoption was societies way of fixing Crisis Pregnancies, unwed mothers shame. What a high price to have to pay for sin. Adoption in my opinion should be a last resort. Here is how I prioritize a Crisis Pregnancy. The Child's welfare comes first! Mother and Child should only be separated,  If she does not have the ability to meet the babies needs. Emotionally, Physically, and Spiritually. Now if this Mother is not financially stable. With family support, and community support she can get on her feet. I myself believe in a two parent family. Married. But we all know that that is not what happens often in Crisis Pregnancies.

Reunion - You have the first phone call, That's enough to throw you over the edge! I was on a roller coaster high for days on end! Then comes that first FACE TO FACE. Over whelming is it for a Birthmother in closed adoption. For the last time she saw her baby, If she got to see it at all, it was just that a tiny little precious baby. Then standing before you is a grown Adult. It's very traumatic, yet exhilarating at the same time! You have the honey moon period. Trying to grasp and grab and catch up on the years missed in between. Then comes the time for you both to settle into the relationship.  Get back to real LIFE and living with your birth child in it, and them living with their new extended family.

Some reunions will flourish.  Some will deteriorate as fast as they developed. Some will be separated by so many miles that it is hard to have a solid close relationship.   As my bdaughter lives 1900 miles from me.   But we do the best we can, through emails, and cards, and phone calls.

I often get asked when I work with a family in reunion and in the early stages of the reunion. On - Either the Adoptee or Birth Mother will be having alot of anxiety and what if's.  In extreme anxiety states, trying to figure the other out. What will their reunion be like. I always tell them I don't have a crystal ball. I don't have a magic wand. I can only tell you to be honest and open with each other. For I believe that the TRUTH in all things will secure the relationship for long term.

My advice is to pre-pare prior to searching. Then also the big KEY to the relationship is ACCEPTANCE and Boundaries. Always when talking with each other if any discord arises. Start your sentences with I feel. Not you made me feel blah, blah, blah. I feel this when ____ happens. I feel ____. Then allow the other to respond. Allow each other freedom to be who, and whom they are. With our family of orgin, or raised children we have to LET them grow, expand, test the waters. Each individual born to us. Just came through us. They will have genetic traits sure. But we all are so unique. Personality wise and much more. I found it unique that my bdaughter laughs like me when she is really tickled and laughs like her bio father when she is just a little tickled. Like I said the key in a reunion is Acceptance and respect.   Good luck. I wish you well, All in the triad must work together to make this work.

Love One Another

2011-08-12T15:41:00.000-07:00

How hard is it to Love One Another?? The Bible says - God's true words say:

Romans 13:8 "Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another;for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law."

Why does society make it so hard. It's so simple to LOVE, much easier is it to love than to harbor resentments, hate, bitterness. For anyone that does not love, that even does not love their enemies. That is the one that suffers. For as Christians. We are to be CHRIST LIFE. For when we accepted Christ as our Lord and Savior he then began living inside of US. We became ONE.

Reunited -Even in Adoption, I would love to see the triad. Especially in closed adoptions to be more open. Open with each other, sharing. Not fearing. Sharing from their hearts the child that you both love the child that was adopted that has more than one MOTHER and more than one FATHER. Just because a Birth Mother or Birth Parent transfers parental rights. We still are their first parents. With great LOVE My prayer is that the triad start working together in post reunion for the benefit of the adoptee. God can move mountains, It is my belief that God can heal any thing If we JUST LOVE ONE ANOTHER! It's simple! He makes it simple.

Today's Inspirational - Aug. 11 2011

2011-08-11T20:02:00.000-07:00

As I Walk Through LIFE

2011-08-11T09:08:00.000-07:00

As I Walk Through Life

I've learned-
that you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned-
that you should always leave
loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned-
that you can keep going long after you can't.

I've learned-
that we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.

I've learned-
that either you control your
attitude or it controls you.

I've learned-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned-
that my best friend and I can do anything
or nothing and have the best time.

I've learned-
that sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be
angry, but that doesn't give me
the right to be cruel.

I've learned-
that just because someone doesn't love you the
way you want them to doesn't mean they
don't love you with all they have.

I've learned-
that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once
in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned-
that it isn't always enough to
be forgiven by others,
Sometimes you have to learn
to forgive yourself.

I've learned-
that just because two people argue, it doesn't
mean they don't love each other.

I've learned-
that two people can look at
the exact same thing
and see something totally different.

Today's Inspirational - Aug. 9th

2011-08-09T11:11:00.000-07:00

BirthMothersUnite Support,Resources,Poetry, Testimonials and Much More

2011-08-08T17:56:00.000-07:00

BirthMothersUnite.Com Started in 2001, The founder Lucy Franklin, C.P.A.C. Created BirthMothersUnite, To be a safe haven for all Birthmothers and Birth Parents. To be informative and bring support to them pre-adoption and post-adoption. No one wants to find themselves in a Crisis Pregnancy. I can tell you this that know one truly understands us like we ourselves. So please be sure to check out our website at http://www.birthmothersunite.com/

Sincerely, Lucy Franklin, C.P.A.C.

Time

2011-08-07T17:27:00.000-07:00

Time

Can time heal these scars that are driven so deep in my heart?

Can time heal the long separation that we've had apart?

Time,

One minute, One hour, One more day,

All I had was you Jesus,

Jesus, I knew you always heard me pray and took in all that I had to say,

Time,

Lord, you saw each tear from my eye fall,

Lord, you saw me on the floor so depressed,

Barely could I even crawl,

Time,

As this time did go by,

Even though I did not understand why?

You did Lord, You carried me through each and every trial,

Time!

In your Time,

You turned my frowns, Into a smile!

Time,

Softly, in your timing, You removed the scars!

Finally with you I escaped from my own prison bars!

Time,

All we all have is Time!

Thank you Lord for its by your shed blood I am saved and will NOT BE left behind!

In your time!

Lord my God you will see me through!

To someday live where there is NO TIME (Infinity), Eternally with YOU!

( Yes he has healed me! Took some time! But with a deep

relationship and trusting in his word. I have been healed.)

Labor Of Love - Poem - By Lucy Franklin

2011-08-07T14:28:00.000-07:00

Labor Of Love

My Labor of Love was all for you!

For nine precious months it was all I could do!

I nurtured you in the comfort of my womb,

While you played, tumbled, sucked your thumb and divinely grew, with plenty of expanding room!

My Labor Of Love,

Came from my heart, My soul and heaven up ABOVE!

For it was God almighty that kept me strong,

For I knew my Labor of Love would be LIFELONG!

I loved my baby from the start,

I never wanted for she and I to be apart,

But with great courage, I made an adoption plan!

A Labor of Love, That only another Birth Mother or Birth Parent could understand!

Yes a Birth Mothers, Birth Parents actions are truly a Labor of LOVE!

We are chosen by God Almighty in Heaven Above.

The Labor of LOVE,

That I possessed!

I know that she was truly God given, I was truly blessed!

The Labor of Love,

Did not end with her birth!

For I will carry that Labor of Love till the end of time on this earth!

Copy Right Protected 8/3/2011
My Lil Labor Of Love Below

Today's Inspirational - Aug. 7th

2011-08-07T07:36:00.001-07:00

My Story

2011-08-06T19:58:00.000-07:00

My Story

The year is 1980 and I am going through a divorce and in financial ruins. Bad enough I am going through a divorce, Then I find out I am pregnant. Crisis pregnancy!! I honestly go into denial, But how do you deny that you have a precious living being growing inside of you and your body is changing rapidly, emotionally and physically. I had to move back in with my parents. That depressed me, Not that I didn't love them. I just felt like a big failure. My marriage failed, Now this. As hard as it is to say. I was not ready to be a MOTHER! I am thankful that I was aware of that about myself. I honestly didn't know up till my sixth month of pregnancy what I would do. That's when I contacted the Catholic Charities Adoption Agency in my hometown. I met with a counselor that helped me through the process of making a adoption plan. I weighed the options, Single parent. Or placement. My heart wanted to RUN with her once she was born. But my sane logical mind told my heart what was best for "MY PRECIOUS" as I called her. See she deserved the BEST! I had the best growing up. Two married parents. That provided for me very well. They met all my physical, emotional, and Spiritual needs. I wanted this for her. So that's why I worked on a adoption plan that even though it was a closed adoption. I had a say so in the adoption. That she would be adopted by a Christian family. Her parents would raise her to KNOW JESUS. They would have to be financially strong. I prayed over this plan for months on end.

When my daughter was born, I spent three days in the hospital with her. I changed her little diaper, I sang to her, I cuddled her to my breast. Through my tears I had long talks with her. She cooed and peered at me with her deep big brown eyes and coal black hair of silk! She was gorgeous! Perfect in every way! I asked God to bless me with a healthy baby. He did. I asked God to help me go through with the adoption plan. For I needed his divine strength, grace and love and MERCY. To help me do it. For my heart wanted to RUN with her!

I even asked God to let me see her again in the future before I die. He answered that prior also! He didn't make me wait long neither. That prayer was answered just prior to her 19th birthday.

We both had placed our information in www.adoption.com in the reunion registry. One night I got to snooping around on that site. Boy was I ever so glad that I did! Because what I found literally made me fall out of my office chair!!! She was there, searching for ME! To make a long story short. I got the contact info called her, and now 11 years later and 2 face to faces. Lots of calls, and emails. We are still reunited and loving every moment of God's rich blessings! She has had the LIFE that I wanted for her. She is a gentle spirit, full of LOVE. She has got her college degree in education and is now going on to get her masters. I am blessed. I am thankful for God selecting ME to help make a family complete.

Featured Open Adoption Story for August: Meet Hope

2011-08-06T11:03:00.000-07:00

In March of 2004, I turned 39. A few weeks after my birthday, I found out I was pregnant. This was not something I wanted, and certainly was not prepared for. I am a type 1 diabetic and had decided as a teenager that I did not want to have children because of my fear of passing along this disease. Also, I did not feel that I had had good parenting skills taught to me by my own parents, and did not feel raising a child was in my best interest or the child. I contemplated abortion for a few days. I cried and prayed and cried some more. I was brought up in a Christian home, albeit a very dysfunctional one. Still I knew what I believed and I did not feel God would make exceptions for me in the area of abortion. I got on my computer and looked up abortion. I really didn't know much about it, how it was done, etc. As I read the information, all I could do was cry. My heart was telling me "no way", and my head was not far behind. Although I was very frightened of the thought of being pregnant and carrying a baby to term, I knew that abortion was not for me. I no longer had a relationship with the biological father (that in itself was a miracle, and if you want to email me, I can tell you that story), so he was not in the decision making process. I had some girlfriends were were there with me right from the beginning - pretty much from the moment I found out for sure I was pregnant and how far along I was. My family was not so supportive, so I thanked God daily for my friends who were there for me, caring for me, talking with me, gently and tenderly holding my hand and helping me through the process.

As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I fell on my face before God (email me for more details if you want to know why). I felt a sense of peace come over me. I had prayed for the strength to have this child, the strength to endure whatever scorn and ridicule I might face, and I had prayed - most of all - for God to give me a love for this child. I didn't know if I could love this baby growing inside me. I was afraid I couldn't. I needed God to help me to take care of myself, to go to the doctor to keep control of the diabetes and to cause as little harm to this baby as possible because of this disease. I was referred to wonderful specialists who really helped me to take as good of care of myself and my baby as possible. They were God-sent, I believe!

I began my search for an adoption agency very soon after finding out I was pregnant. I knew this was the only answer for me. It didn't take me long to find an agency - online no less - and begin the process. They were wonderful, gentle, loving women at this agency who told me over and over again what a wonderful thing I was doing, how blessed I would be for bringing life to this child, etc, etc. I didn't feel very blessed at the time, but I now know that those women knew what they were talking about! I was led through the process of paperwork and such. I was told about the profiles that were posted online and how to access them. What an overwhelming process at first! Finally, I knew I needed some major help with this process, so I prayed and asked God to help me figure out a way of sorting through all these couples. I wanted to place my baby with every one of them! God gave me the idea of writing down what I wanted for my child: I chose a few things and went back to my search. I wanted a couple who lived in a mild climate, who were dog lovers like me, who were devoted born-again Christians. Those were really the major criteria. I very quickly - within a few weeks - found this couple. I had seen their profile online at the agency website, and then when one of the women from the agency mailed me some profiles to look through, there was this couple's profile again! After praying about it, I knew this was the couple I was meant to place my baby with.

I was doing my best to keep up with my work and my social life and my health issues. I really thank God for how He helped me through this time. I actually got married when i was about 5 months along (that is a very long story, and I will not go into the details here, but i will tell you I did not marry the biological father of the baby). My new husband was also a God-send. He took such good care of me and respected my decision to place my baby for adoption. He was there in the delivery room with me, too! He was fascinated with the whole process.

As the months went on, I did begin to have some medical complications. I was swollen literally from my toes up to my belly. I lived in a very warm climate and it was the summer time, so I spent a lot of time in the pool at the apartment complex I lived at, and I spent the rest of the time in my air conditioned apartment with my feet propped up! I had also noticed my vision had changed, so I went to my eye specialist to have this checked out. He said it was not uncommon for pregnant women to have vision changes and often the changes went back to normal once the baby was born. This would not be the case with me, however.

I had gotten to talk to the prospective adoptive parents on the telephone and we hit it off wonderfully! We had much in common, and I could tell they would be terrific parents. They had been praying for many years for a child, and God had placed it in their hearts to adopt a child. As we got to know each other over the next couuple of months and compared stories of the time leading up to our meeting, it was amazing to all of us how God had orchestrated our coming together! We were meant to be! They were not at all judgmental of me or my situation, and just wanted me to know how much they would love this baby, no matter what.

When it came to the time when most pregnant women will have their baby's tested for Down's syndrome, I asked the nurse what could be done if the tests came back positive. She told me - very coldly and with no emotion - "well, you just terminate the pregnancy, that's all." I told her I would have to think about the test and get back to her. I went home that day from the doctor's office crying and praying. I really didn't know what to do. God led me to call the adoptive parents and ask them if they wanted to know if the baby would have Down's syndrome or not. They said that the decision was mine, but they did not care what the test results would be - they already loved this baby and wanted to be his/her adoptive parents no matter what. Well, that's all I needed to hear! The next time I went for my doctor's visit, I informed the very cold nurse, as lovingly as I could, that I and the adoptive parents did not want this test done. The tears welled up in her eyes as she shook her head in acknowledgement; she knew what I was telling her without actually telling her!

One of the problems that can occur with a diabetic mother is that the baby will grow too large in the womb. That began to happen to my baby, and at 7 months along, the doctor said they needed me to go into the hospital for complete bed rest and total monitoring of my rest, medications, and food intake. After two days in the hospital, the doctor decided it was time to take the baby and I had an emergency C-section. This was very disappointing as it did not allow time for the adoptive couple to come for the delivery, which is what we had planned. All went well, and I gave birth to a healthy strapping little boy who weighed in at 6 pounds, 7 3/4 ounces, and was 23 inches long. I can't even imagine how big he would have been if I had carried him to full term, but I myself was a full-term baby who weighed 10 pounds, 3 ounces at birth. My poor mother!

Because of medication I was given for the two days before the delivery, I could not see a thing in that delivery room. The lights were way too bright and my vision was way too blurry, so when my son was born, I could not see him. I heard him crying - that tiny little newborn cry - but my husband looked at him and said "he's all there", and that was sufficient for me! I was so relieved and so happy that God had gotten me and my baby through this process, and we were alive and well. (I think I forgot to mention I had this great fear that I would die from being pregnant and having diabetes.)

As I lay there in the recovery area, I was praying and thanking God for a safe delivery. I began to chuckle to myself and cry. Soon, my laughter was almost uncontrollable as I was overwhelmed with the sense of God's presence there in that recovery area with me. I knew I had just done the greatest thing I would ever do in my lifetime - I gave life to a child!

The adoptive parents arrived the next morning to greet their new son. Oh, they were ecstatic - and that's putting it mildly. They were so sweet and loving and kind to me, visiting me and bringing me small gifts like fresh fruit! How desired that was after having nothing but Jello and sugar free ginger ale for two days! They had fallen in love immediately upon seeing their son for the first time. I went up to see the baby with them for the first time. How precious that very first visit was. I cried and they cried - but these were all tears of joy! I was in the hospital for five days because of having diabetes and needing to be closely monitored. My son was in the hospital for almost a whole month due to being premature. He had not had enough time in the womb to develop the sucking mechanism it took to feed him through a bottle, and that was taking some real effort by the adoptive parents and the nursing staff to get him to feed. I did not breast feed my son; that was not something I had a desire to do. In fact, I was afraid to hold him! I had never been around babies much and just didn't know what to do with him. But this was just another reason why I had not felt that I could not raise this child - I just didn't feel that I had what it takes to be a parent.

The adoptive parents stayed there for the whole month until "our son" was released. They lived in another state and had to endure great sacrifice during this time, but they were filled with joy and excitement, and probably could not have been torn away from the baby. When I finally went home from the hospital, the adoptive couple were the ones who took me home and pampered me for a few hours. They were terrific, absolutely God-sent. I knew I was going to miss them an awful lot when they left to go home, too, along with missing my baby.

I had been praying during my pregnancy that God would give me a love for this child inside of me, but also that He would help me to let go when the time came. And He did give me that strength. Because the adoptive parents were there taking care of the new baby, i felt i was free from emotional stress during that time and could just go home and take care of myself and get my strength back and recuperate as much as I needed to. My husband and my friends were just terrific during this recovery time, too. They nurtured me and really took good care of me. When I felt the need to cry, I cried. When I felt the desire to laugh, I laughed. I could also just sit and be quiet, or just lay in my husband's arms and rest peacefully. God had truly taken care of all my fears about this pregnancy and the upcoming departure of my baby and his new family.

On the day of their departure, I went to their hotel to see them off. I got to feed my son for the first time. It was such a beautiful time for he and I. He just lay there very quietly looking up at me. He was so still, so hungrily feeding from that bottle, yet gazing up at me as if to say "Hey, I know you, you're that lady who talked to me all these months, and fed me well, and kept me warm and comfortable, and prayed for me and let me kick and squirm around inside you." His little dark eyes just seemd to be saying, "Thanks, mom". I will always cherish those moments I had with him.

Now, my son is 3 1/2 years old. I have an open adoption, so I get to go and visit him twice a year. I did not see him for the first year because when it was time for my first visit when he turned six months old, I was unable to go due to having some eye surgeries. That problem I had had during my pregnancy was not just a simple thing that went away with the birth of my son. I ended up having complications that led to me now being blind in one eye and legally blind in the other. Diabetics often have problems with their eyes, and the stress of this unplanned pregnancy had done a lot of damage to my already weak system.

But, praise God, I can still see enough to see my son - and alot more - and so I cherish my twice yearly visits with him and his parents. We have a good relationship. They are good to send me pictures and email updates. They have already been talking to him about being adopted and how special he is. At my last visit in 12/2007, my son asked me - in all this 3 year old wisdom - "Was I in your belly?" He has become fascinated with pregnant women, and so he needed to know where he had come from! That was all he wanted to know, and when I told him "yes, you were in my belly", he went back to playing in the sand of his sand box.

There is much more I could tell, but will stop now. If anyone has any questions, please feel free to email me. I love to tell my story - our story - and share God's love and grace and mercy with anyone and everyone!

Email: hewilkinson65@yahoo.com

Send in your adoption story to be featured in our up coming months blog. Our story's are very empowering, and KNOWLEDGE is power. Also very healing. Send to Email: Birthmothers@aol.com

Searching To Reunite? - Closed Adoption

2011-08-06T09:47:00.000-07:00

Lucy Franklin, CPAC

Call for a free consultation:
1-888-803-4956

Lucy Franklin, C.P.A.C.

Are you searching to reunite with your b/son or b/daughter? Are you prepared for the many emotions that will resurface upon finding this child? Many Birth Mothers are not prepared for the roller coaster ride that finding the child/ that is now a Adult will cause. This is information that I write about is not to scare you it is to encourage you and also let you know that

Lucy Franklin, CPAC of Birthmothersunite.com can help you in your post-adoption reunion affects.

She is a trained Certified Post Adoption Reunion Coach.

Trained in the following:

Post Traumatic Stress in Birth Mothers

Birth Mother Trauma and Recovery

Core Patterns in reunion

Soul Healing in Adoption

Adoptee Trauma and Recovery

Reunion coaching for Birth Mothers, Adoptee's, and Adoptive Parents

Birth Mother Goals for Healing

You will identify and experience the range and intensity of feelings related to the loss. To identify and to change maladaptive behavior patterns related to the loss.

To complete unfinished business and to reframe the loss of the past.

Total goal: Your physical, Spiritual, and Emotional well being restored.

Today's Inspirational

2011-08-06T09:07:00.000-07:00

Poetry Contest!!!!!!!!!

2011-08-06T08:53:00.000-07:00

All Birth Mothers and Birth Parents submit your POEM to be spot lighted in BMU's Blog and Website!

I believe poetry is very healing. I have been blessed with that gift since I was a youngster.

You can read a lot of my poetry at http://www.hopeinjesus.homestead.com/ .

Also I have some of my writings on my website http://www.birthmothersunite.com/.

Contest ends Nov. 1, 2011. So submit your poetry to: subject - Contest - Email: birthmothers@aol.com .

The winning poem will be featured on BMU in the Poetry section. And also win a gift cards to Victoria Secrets and Bath & Body Works!

Don't Forget US! Birth Mothers

2011-08-05T14:50:00.000-07:00

Don't forget US? A Birth Mother Never Forgets!

Society? What do they know about us? I have a real problem with how even today we are portrayed. Such misconceptions of Birth Mothers are. That we GIVE our babies away. I can't speak for all! I can only speak for myself and many that I have met via the Internet and through other venues.

Here are a lot of the belittling misconceptions:

Birth Mothers are all drug addicts.

Birth Mothers are poor and uneducated.

Birth Mothers are all sexually promiscuous!

Birth Mothers didn't want there children.

Blatantly these are false!

The list goes on and on. All are not fact. Most Birth Mothers I have met including myself. Very very much wanted are babies. If we had not wanted them, We could have chose the alternative of abortion. That thought never crossed my mind. I very much wanted her. I in my mind thought I would become a single parent after a divorce while I was 4 months pregnant. When I became 6 months pregnant. I began to realistically look at my life. I had no job. My only support was from my parents. I had worked up to my 6 month of pregnancy, But became sick with preeclampsia and toxemia. As I thought about all my unborn child would need. I put my heart aside. I consulted an agency. Started going through a process of making an adoption plan. This was 1981, Mind you. Before open adoption existed. Or I would have definitely chosen an semi or open adoption plan. I did have input on what type of family I desired for her, What level of education, financial well being etc. You can read my testimonial in the testimonial section of Birth MothersUnite, click on the navigator at the top.

I have another pet peeve. Open adoption should be honored by adoptive parents with Birth Mother or B/parents. Have an agreement in writing and in place. So much damage is done when the adoptive parents agree upon an open adoption then quickly slam the door closed on the birth mothers and or birth parents. This is very unhealthy for the triad. Most of all the child. I for one like semi-open adoption. For I am very very protective of the innocent child. One should never confuse this innocent one. They had nothing to do with there birth circumstances. They are God's gift to be cherished, nurtured and given everything they deserve - emotionally, physically and spiritually. So adoptive parents to love your new baby is to do this. You do this by honoring the original semi or open adoption agreement. Always remember that Love is Patient, Love is Kind. Love should be the golden rule in adoption and the triad.

By Lucy Franklin, CPAC

Healing Of Post-Adoption Effects

2011-08-05T14:42:00.000-07:00

Healing of Post-Adoption Effects
By Lucy Franklin, CPAC

Rather you placed your baby with a family in a open-adoption or closed adoption. The decision you made will affect you in away you might not have been prepared for. Depending on the type of support you had in your family of orgin. It is very important that you seek counsel with a trained adoption counselor.
The following is normal and can be expected following the placement of your bson/or bdaughter:

1. Anger - Anger this is a highly normal response! Angry at the circumstances of to why you felt the need to place, Angry at self that you felt you could not parent with birth father, Anger at feeling you were abandoned of support by your family, or boyfriend, or husband. Some Birth Mothers have expressed to me being angry at God. Anger that is repressed will manifest into cellular emotions that can make one sick. Physically, Emotionally and Spiritually.

2. Shock and Denial - Shock (Placement can cause Shock-If you have gone through a traumatic experience. You may be struggling with upsetting emotions, frightening memories, or a sense of constant danger that you just cannot kick. Or you may feel numb, disconnected, and unable to trust other people. When bad things happen, it can take awhile to get over the pain and feel safe again. But treatment and support from family and friends can speed your recovery from emotional and psychological trauma. Whether the traumatic event happened years ago or yesterday, you can heal and MOVE ON!

The first step to overcome - Is to stop denying that the loss occurred. When you get stuck in denial you become repressed, pushing the very event of the placement further deeply into your body that can cause many of the following psychosomatic illnesses. Such as anxiety disorders, agoraphobia, post-traumatic syndrome, severe depression. Understand that denial of the placement will not help you heal. You must prepare for placement prior and post to effectively move through to a place of peace for ones self.

3. Grief - Sorrow, Depression. This is NORMAL! If you didn't grieve I would be worried. Once the intial shock wears off you will move into the phase and realization of the loss. If the depression becomes debliatating. Watch for this. Seek medical intervention immediately. Grieving takes a toll on you emotionally and physically. Now is the time to take extra good care of you. YOU are important. Remember to pamper yourself daily, through this process of health again.

4. Guilt - Many Birth Mothers start to feel guilty when they revisit the past. When they make progress and start living again they journey back to the past of the grief and loss. I have done this myself. But remember this LIFE is a journey and your b/son or b/daughter would not want their Angel Bringer of Life to be sad. They want you strong and to own your decision to place. I know this as truth. For I am in reunion and my Birth Daughter always assures me that the past is just that. The PAST. Look to the future. With vigor and zest. Embrace the God given gift of LIFE each and everyday.

5. Acceptance - Finally we arrive at acceptance in our healing. Arriving to the fact that a loss occurred. Understand that acceptance does not mean that the pain is for ever gone. It means you have come to a healthy place of acceptance of your decision and choice to have placed your baby/child for adoption.

I placed my b/daughter over 29 years ago. My one and only child is coming up on her 30th birthday in August. She has had everything that I in my heart desired for her to have. She loves her adoptive family and siblings, she has graduated from college, now going to graduate school. I couldn't be prouder! I am thankful for her MOTHER, I can't say A-Mom. No that is her Mother. I was the vehicle that God chose to bring this beautiful baby to this family. I often prayed for God to take care of her. He has, He still does. He takes care of she and I to this day. For I believe that - We can do all things! All things through Christ Jesus!

Lucy Franklin, CPAC
Author of H.O.P.E. -Healing Of Post-Adoption Effects

Adoption Versus Abortion

2011-08-05T14:37:00.000-07:00

Adoption Versus Abortion

Some will argue that they are both similar. That either way as a mother you have a loss. I have talked to many teens, woman, that are in a Crisis Pregnancies. When discussing there options with them. Which there are only three options. To parent, or make and adoption plan to place, or abort. I have heard those in Crisis think that it would be so much easier to abort than to make and adoption plan and place there babies in a semi-open adoption or open-adoption. It really strikes me as strange, That following the decision to abort, Each one of these ladies will say I could NEVER GIVE MY BABY AWAY. Oh if I have this baby and see my baby I could never give it away! Then following that same sentence is but I am not ready to be a Mother, or I am in a horrible abusive relationship with the birth father. So I think I will abort. After asking there opinion on abortion, They often say I am against Abortion. But will justify it by saying it's the only option they think they can do. As a birth mother, And a reunited birth mother at that. I can tell you first hand that Adoption by FAR is the best choice when faced with a Crisis Pregnancy. A birth mother is a incredible strong, and most unselfish woman you will ever MEET. I say this because I know the strength that it takes to follow through with an adoption plan. I for one thought about what she needed. I didn't think with my heart, I thought with my mind of reason. That she needed what I wanted her to have. Two parents, married, In a covenant marriage, siblings, To be well provided for Emotionally, Physically, and Spiritually. I prayed for God's direction in my planning of her placement. God delivered her through me and unto her adoptive family. I was the vehicle selected to carry this beautiful LIFE for this family. I am honored to this day that God chose me.

(This is my opinion on Adoption versus Abortion, I have seen so much emotional and physical damage caused by abortion. Abortion the law might saw its a women's right to choose. But I must speak out and be a voice for the little one that has no voice! There are alternatives to abortion. Single parenting is done often with much community support, and adoption is a loving choice and alternative to ending a little innocent ones life.)

Lucy Franklin, CPAC

Adoptee Sings Orginal Song - Dear Jane - To Birth Mother

2011-08-05T14:34:00.000-07:00

http://youtu.be/8_XhjR-K4fQ

Birth Mother/ Birth Parents Will Need Pre & Post-Adoption Support- Essential

2011-08-05T14:17:00.000-07:00

No matter what stage you are in the adoption process, be it making an adoption plan to place your baby with a family. Or you have placed already, be it within days, weeks, or months. Just as you prepared an made the adoption plan. Remember to plan for yourself also. You are very important in this process. You will need to have a post-adoption support group in place for you. You will need to surround yourself by positive people that nurture you and let you grieve in a healthy way about the placement. Each placement will be different. But if you have studied adoption extensively as I have, I also being a birth mother, reunited now for 11 years. You will find comfort in talking and sharing and bonding with other birth mothers or birth parents. Because I have met so many people that THINK they know what it is like or have their own OPINIONS of what it feels like to lose a baby to adoption. When they DO NOT HAVE a clue nor KNOW. YOU would have to be us to know! Rather the placement was coerced by a parent many years ago, Rather it was a closed adoption. Rather you placed on your own free will, Due to a crisis pregnancy, or because you knew at that very time of your life that it would be for the best for the child at that time of your life. A responsible birth mother, or birth parent. Will make the ultimate sacrifice to make a plan and place their baby to have a two parent family and it's physical, spiritual, and financial needs met. I commend all my sister birth mothers for doing what they felt at the time was best. Remember you are important, You are more than your PAST! Each approaching day is a gift of opportunity and newness!

Check out these three sites I find full of resources for the birth mother or birth parents.

http://www.birthmothersunite.com/

www.birthmothersunite.com/contact.html

http://www.lifemothers.com/

http://www.birthmombuds.com/

Sincerely, Lucy Franklin, CPAC

How did she become a Birth Mother, First Mother, Angel Bringer of Life???

2011-08-05T14:06:00.000-07:00

How did she become a Birth Mother? Firstmother? Angel Bringer of Life?

Each Angel Bringers of Life pregnancy is always unique. Some Birth Mothers became pregnant in similar circumstances, some not so similar. Yet we became.

But, By choice she chose to endure giving her all for the life of the unborn child. She didn't one day just wake up and say I choose to be a Birth Mother, It happened. Then she with great Courage, Strength and Love. Made an adoption plan for her unborn precious little God given life that grew inside her womb. The decision to place for a birthmother is a very hard decision to make. We don't give our babies away. We just transfer our parental rights to new parents. This all done due to the situation at hand, at that very time of our lives.A Birth Mother, First Mother, Angel Bringer of Life, Never forgets! Never forgets the life she bore for another. She will move on with her life, With the very strength that she used to place her baby for adoption. With great hopes and desire to meet her baby in God's timing again. A Birth Mother can now choose open/or semi-open adoption in this day and time. But, many Birth Mothers of the past, 60's, 70's and 80's did not have that choice. They were only offered closed adoptions. Thank goodness the adoption arena has changed this day and age. The traid must work together, for the focus and the best interest of the placed child/baby.
If you are thinking about adopting.

Please go read:

http://www.birthmothersunite.com/MyBabysParents.html

Here you will learn what a Christian Birth Mothers heart desires for her baby.We didn't choose to become what society has labelled a Birth Mother. But we did choose "Life" for our babies. We are your Angel Bringers of Life! (A-parents)And you are our Angels also.

My Adoption Thoughts

2011-08-04T17:55:00.001-07:00

My Thoughts On Adoption

I still have mixed emotions on adoption. My feelings are my own personal mixed emotions. (In the case of my daughter) But I do see adoption as a wonderful alternative option to abortion. "Life" is God given. I believe in the triad. I believe also that everyone is different. I have had some adoptees tell me they never felt different that they felt very loved and that they did feel they belonged with the A-parents, Or that they have told me that they didn't belong in the family that they were raised in. I have had adoptees tell me that they had a wonderful life, good adoptive parents and that they still felt they didn't belong. Why is this? It is as unique as we are unique. We are all wonderfully made, Yet deep in our hearts no two people are alike. I have had birthmothers get caught up in that they are the adoptees MOTHER. Yes, we are there First Mothers, in the aspect that we nurtured them in our wombs to birth. (With great love we wanted to be their mothers) We are First Mothers, What I like to call their Angel Bringers of life. But, we are not their Mothers as they know us. A mother is the one that was their for all their needs, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. In my case my daughter was told she was adopted when she was 7, she was shocked. She thought how can this be. I look like them! She was told how much she was loved by me, and them. How special she was. After the initial shock, she went and got on the school bus and sang a song to the other kids, I am adopted! I am special! I am adopted! The most healing words I ever heard was from my birthdaughter. She said thank you Lucy for giving me life! She and I have had a good reunion. She is now 22, she has distanced herself lately from me. But that is okay, she is searching still for her own identity. I remember growing up and at 22 I was still searching for myself. I wasn't adopted and I had major issues. Parents do the best they can with their reared children, yet there is still a lot of dysfunctional families created year after year. I had good parents, yet I still was very worldly and hardheaded. If you hit rock bottom enough, you finally learn. Learn to cry out to the Lord!

My thoughts on adoption, are Open. I choose to look at the circumstances, and even in the worst of circumstances I choose to find good. To be strong and preserve over the past. Life goes on. She's living hers, I mine. We are bonded by blood and much love forever. No one can take that from she and I. She knows that her Lucy will always love her, and be there for her, when she falls. I and God will pick her up, and kiss away the hurts. Thank you God for a second chance!
My miracle second chance occurred 7/5/2000. Reunited!!!